Reflections on a day.....September 11

The phone was ringing and I knew that a call this early usually didn't bring good news. It was my good friend Andy and all he said was, "Are you watching the news?" No, what channel? To this day I knew my fears were right when all he said to my question was, "It doesn't matter"

As I turned on the news I realized that we were right in the middle of a tragedy that was far greater than any I had ever seen in my lifetime. This wasn't just a random act or an accident but a calculated attack that would have an impact on not only me but the whole world. I quickly thought of my friend Gregor and wondered if he was still in NYC? I knew he was there a few days prior because I had talked to him....he was in Central Park and told me about the twin towers. I said a quick prayer for him and I was relieved to speak with him shortly after, safe and sound back in San Diego.

For the rest of that day and the days, weeks and months to come, I found myself having a difficult time digesting this whole thing. I was thankful that I didn't know anyone who was lost that day but I couldn't help but think about the countless number of people who would spend the rest of their lives being impacted by the events of that day. I remember being angry at why it happened and feeling sorrow for the people lost. I remember praying for the families that lost loved ones and thanking God that I didn't. There was a greater sense of unity as a nation as we began to move forward and while the people that died were still gone, it was nice to see people come together. Families, churches, classrooms...groups big and small, coming together. I remember praying that out of this terrible thing, God would help me to find something good to hold onto so I wouldn't focus on the bad. I prayed this many times over the next year and God truly did answer my prayers.

On the night of September 10 of the following year, Jodi began to have contractions. She was pregnant with our second child and it happened to be my sister Katie's birthday. I was thinking that maybe our daughter would share a birthday with my sister....that would be pretty cool! But as it turned out, we were only at the hospital for a few hours, returning home in the middle of the night, waiting and wondering when the baby would arrive. Many hours later we returned to the hospital and waited some more until finally, at 6:40 p.m, our daughter Rebecca Rae was born.

As I held her for the first time I remember praying with her and thanking God for this beautiful and healthy little girl. We were so happy that she had finally arrived but it wasn't until I turned on the TV in our room that I realized that not only had God answered my prayer for a healthy baby, He had answered a prayer that I had been praying for a year. I realized that it was September 11, 2002....the one year anniversary of the tragedy we all went through. And as I sat there holding Rae Rae, I knew that I would never forget the day of anguish we all went through a year prior, but that God, in His unbelievable grace, had given me the gift of this day to celebrate the birth of our daughter.

It has now been seven years since those towers went down and nothing will ever bring back the people lost. The pain for some people is still as vivid as the day it happened and it may never fade. Fathers, Mothers, daughters, sons, teachers, friends....people who were important and impacted others were all lost that day. And while I hope I never forget completely what impact this has had on me and the sense of unity we once felt as a nation, I am so thankful that God chose to replace a very sad memory for me with a day of celebration and joy!

As I held Rae Rae the night before her birthday this year she cried a little because for some reason she wanted to stay 5. On the inside I was crying out to God thanking Him for blessing me with 5 wonderful years and that I wouldn't dread the day to come and the memory that follows it. And as I tucked Rae Rae into bed we listed off all the great things she could do when she was 6 that she didn't do when she was 5. She began to smile in anticipation of the year to come. She was excited that in the morning she would have a birthday and I was thrilled and thankful that I was going to be right there with her to experience it!

Thank you God for blessing me with an unbelievable girl who is now 6 years old and for sparing my family on that day seven years ago. Thank you that my kids are here and they have their parents and grandparents and friends.

Happy Birthday Rae Rae...may we you have many, many more to come!

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